Kids Jokes
Kids love funny jokes so here are Top Funny Jokes so that you could enjoy with your kids.
A Sunday school teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem.
A small child replied: “I could not get a babysitter.”
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The son asked his father: “What is the difference between truth and faith.
”Pope said: “She is your mother, who is the Truth and I believe that I am your father.”
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At a Sunday school class the teacher asked a child; do you pray to God before lunch or dinner?
The child said, “No ma'am, my moms a good cook!”
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A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It’s hard to believe these were actually done by first grade kids (6 year-olds), because the last one is classic!
Strike while the …, insect is close.
Never underestimate the power of… ants.
Don’t bite the hand that… looks dirty.
Better to be safe than… punch a seventh grade boy.
If you lie down with dogs, you’ll… stink in the morning.
It’s always darkest before… Daylight Saving Time.
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The child comes home from his first day at school. Mother asks, "What did you learn today?"
The kid replies, "Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow."
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A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human, it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I go up in heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".
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A little girl goes to visit Santa at the Mall. When it is her turn she sits on his lap and Santa says "Have you been good?"
Little Girl, "Yes, Santa, very good."
Santa, "What would you like for Christmas?"
Little Girl, "I want Barbie and G. I. Joe."
Santa, "G. I. Joe? Doesn't Barbie come with Ken?
Little Girl, "No, Santa, Barbie fakes it with Ken. But she comes with G. I. Joe."
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Little Johnny's new baby brother was screaming up a storm. He asked his mom, "Where'd we get him?"
His mother replied, "He came from heaven, Johnny."
Johnny says, "WOW! I can see why they threw him out!"
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Coming home from his Little League game, Billy swung open the front door very excited. Unable to attend the game, his father immediately wanted to know what happened. "So, how did you do son?" he asked.
"You'll never believe it!" Billy said. "I was responsible for the winning run!"
"Really? How'd you do that?"
"I dropped the ball."
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"Dad," said Little Johnny, "I'm late for football practice. Would you please do my homework for me?"
The father said irately, "Son, it just wouldn't be right."
"That's okay," replied Little Johnny, "but you could at least give it a try, couldn't you?"
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Little Micky’s new baby brother was screaming up a storm. He asked his mom, “Where’d we get him?” His mother replied, “He came from heaven, Johnny.” Micky says, “WOW! I can see why they threw him out!”
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Q: Why don't art students play hide and seek?
A: Because nobody wants to look for them.
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At school one day a teacher asks her students to create a sentence with the words liver and cheese: *The White kid says: “My mom made me a liver and cheese sandwich and it was sooo good.” *The Black kid says: “My daddy told my momma to go get the Government cheese and she didn’t, so my daddy punched her in the liver.” *The Mexican kid says: “Some kids were trying to look under my sister’s dress and I told the cabrones, “Hey Putos!!! liver alone, cheese my sister!”
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There's an anti-abortion group on this campus called
STUDENTS FOR LIFE
Hmm, so when are they gonna graduate?
A Sunday school teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem.
A small child replied: “I could not get a babysitter.”
--------
The son asked his father: “What is the difference between truth and faith.
”Pope said: “She is your mother, who is the Truth and I believe that I am your father.”
--------
At a Sunday school class the teacher asked a child; do you pray to God before lunch or dinner?
The child said, “No ma'am, my moms a good cook!”
-------
A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It’s hard to believe these were actually done by first grade kids (6 year-olds), because the last one is classic!
Strike while the …, insect is close.
Never underestimate the power of… ants.
Don’t bite the hand that… looks dirty.
Better to be safe than… punch a seventh grade boy.
If you lie down with dogs, you’ll… stink in the morning.
It’s always darkest before… Daylight Saving Time.
--------
The child comes home from his first day at school. Mother asks, "What did you learn today?"
The kid replies, "Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow."
-------
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human, it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I go up in heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".
-------
A little girl goes to visit Santa at the Mall. When it is her turn she sits on his lap and Santa says "Have you been good?"
Little Girl, "Yes, Santa, very good."
Santa, "What would you like for Christmas?"
Little Girl, "I want Barbie and G. I. Joe."
Santa, "G. I. Joe? Doesn't Barbie come with Ken?
Little Girl, "No, Santa, Barbie fakes it with Ken. But she comes with G. I. Joe."
--------
Little Johnny's new baby brother was screaming up a storm. He asked his mom, "Where'd we get him?"
His mother replied, "He came from heaven, Johnny."
Johnny says, "WOW! I can see why they threw him out!"
-------
Coming home from his Little League game, Billy swung open the front door very excited. Unable to attend the game, his father immediately wanted to know what happened. "So, how did you do son?" he asked.
"You'll never believe it!" Billy said. "I was responsible for the winning run!"
"Really? How'd you do that?"
"I dropped the ball."
-------
"Dad," said Little Johnny, "I'm late for football practice. Would you please do my homework for me?"
The father said irately, "Son, it just wouldn't be right."
"That's okay," replied Little Johnny, "but you could at least give it a try, couldn't you?"
-------
Little Micky’s new baby brother was screaming up a storm. He asked his mom, “Where’d we get him?” His mother replied, “He came from heaven, Johnny.” Micky says, “WOW! I can see why they threw him out!”
-------
Q: Why don't art students play hide and seek?
A: Because nobody wants to look for them.
-------
At school one day a teacher asks her students to create a sentence with the words liver and cheese: *The White kid says: “My mom made me a liver and cheese sandwich and it was sooo good.” *The Black kid says: “My daddy told my momma to go get the Government cheese and she didn’t, so my daddy punched her in the liver.” *The Mexican kid says: “Some kids were trying to look under my sister’s dress and I told the cabrones, “Hey Putos!!! liver alone, cheese my sister!”
-------
There's an anti-abortion group on this campus called
STUDENTS FOR LIFE
Hmm, so when are they gonna graduate?