Funny Kids Quotes
“It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawnmower, snowblower or vacuum cleaner.” ~Ben Bergor
“Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing. ~Phyllis Diller
"Don't kid me, Mom, I know they're my feet." -- 3 year old son, when his mother told him his shoes were on the wrong feet
"When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out." ~Erma Bombeck
"Anyone who thinks the art of conversation is dead ought to tell a child to go to bed." ~Robert Gallagher
“A thoughtful kid is one who leaves enough gas in the tank for you to get to the filling station.”
" Children really brighten up a household. They never turn the lights off."
"Any child can tell you that the sole purpose of a middle name is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble." ~Dennis Fakes
"Children are a great comfort in your old age. And they help you reach it faster, too." ~Lionel Kaufman
“Children are likely to live up to what you believe of them.”
"You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance." ~Franklin P. Jones
“There are two things in life for which we are never truly prepared: Twins.”
"If mom says “no,” she means it. If dad says “no,” it means maybe."
" When your mother is mad and asks you, “Do I look stupid?” it’s best not to answer her."
" Parents have eyes in the backs of their heads."
" It’s funny how God uses simple people to do great things."
" No matter how hard you try, you can’t baptize cats!"
" You never open an umbrella in the car."
" Every time the family gets a dog and he makes a mess, he suddenly becomes your dog."
" No matter how old you are, you always think that there may be something hiding under the bed."