Best Kids Jokes
A child opens the door and watch her sister’s boyfriend and asked innocently:
“Every day you get to know my sister is not his own sister”
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Teacher: Peter, why are you late for school?
Peter: Well, miss, I dreamed I was playing football and the game went into overtime.
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Little Nicky comes home from first grade and tells her father that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day. "Since Valentine's Day is for a Christian saint and we're Jewish," she asks, "will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?" Melissa's father thinks a bit, then
says "No, I don't think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a
valentine to?"
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One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes
at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several
strands of white hair sticking
out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, “Why are some of your
hairs white, Mom?”
Her mother replied, “Well, every time that you do something wrong and
make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.”
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said,
Momma, how come ALL of grandma’s hairs are white?”
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Mom: Wake up, son.
Kid: Mmm.
Mother: Are you awake, my son?
Kid: Mm mm.
Mom, in the singing voice: If you are awake, my son, show me your eyes open.
Kid (eyes closed), murmuring: There’s a mirror on the wall.
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Math teacher saw that little Harry was not paying attention in class .. He called her and said, ‘Harry! Paragraphs 2 and 4, and 28 and 44? “
Little Harry quickly replied, “NBC, FOX, ESPN and Cartoon Network!
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Maggie had been listening to his sister practicing her singing. "Sis," he said, "I wish you'd sing Christmas carols."
"That’s nice of you, Maggie," she said. "Why?"
"Then I'd only have to hear you once a year!"